Persons who have this kind of challenge that they cannot control could not enter marriage in good faith. It is a case by case determination. What bearing does this have on eternal life? This is more than a social issue — ultimately it may be a test of our most basic religious freedoms to teach what we know our Father in Heaven wants us to teach. She never complained and she made every sacrifice possible for every professional, church and family goal we pursued.". ELDER WICKMAN: Let me say again what I said a moment ago. Mrs. Oaks was first lady of BYU during her husband's nine-year tenure as president of the church-owned school from 1971 to 1980. Either there is marriage as it is now defined and as defined by the Lord, or there is what could thus be described as genderless marriage. Find fulfillment in the many other facets of your character and your personality and your nature that extend beyond that. In the late 1940s, young Oaks and several friends from Brigham Young High School in Provo staged an Al Capone caper as a teen-age prank. There is no such thing in the Lord’s eyes as something called same-gender marriage. Ultimately that’s where the battle is going to be decided. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: Let’s say my 17-year-old son comes to talk to me and, after a great deal of difficulty trying to get it out, tells me that he believes that he’s attracted to men — that he has no interest and never has had any interest in girls. ELDER OAKS: No, we do not accept the fact that conditions that prevent people from attaining their eternal destiny were born into them without any ability to control. 25, 2018. He later served briefly as the first counselor in the same stake in 1970 but was released when he was appointed as BYU's president and moved to Utah. The distinction between feelings or inclinations on the one hand, and behavior on the other hand, is very clear. All Rights Reserved. That is the Plan of Salvation for His children, and it is our duty to proclaim that plan, to teach its truth, and to praise God for the mission of His Son Jesus Christ. There seems no prospect of him returning. She has served as a ward Young Women president, Relief Society president and a Primary president. I think the answer is that we do not legalize behavior for those reasons unless they are very persuasive reasons brought forward to make a change in the current situation. Here’s what happened next, The Utah Jazz have been literally the best team in the NBA during their 6-game win streak, ‘Star Wars’ launches new ‘High Republic’ digital shorts. Dallin H Oaks. Download a photo or video by clicking or tapping on it. We welcome to that kind of service people who are struggling with any kind of temptation when the struggle is a good struggle and they are living so as to be appropriate teachers, or missionaries, or whatever the calling may be. The Church rarely takes a position on which treatment techniques are appropriate, for medical doctors or for psychiatrists or psychologists and so on. Scripture, ancient and modern, could not be clearer on the definition that the Lord and His agents have given to marriage down through the dispensations. Suddenly we are faced with the claim that thousands of years of human experience should be set aside because we should not discriminate in relation to the institution of marriage. There are also people who consider the defining fact of their existence that they are from Texas or that they were in the United States Marines. It’s the same for a person that is born with a ‘short fuse,’ as we would say of a susceptibility to anger. The law declares unacceptable some things that are simply not enforceable, and there’s no prosecutor who tries to enforce them. When we do that, not only do we deny the other things that comprise us, but experience teaches that there will be an increased likelihood that eventually we will simply succumb to the inclination. But life is full of physical infirmities that some might see as discriminations — total paralysis or serious mental impairment being two that are relevant to marriage. He said, “We love them (referring to people who have same-sex attractions) as sons and daughters of God. If a couple who are cohabiting, happy, and committed to one another want to have their relationship called a marriage, why do they want that? We have the agency to choose which characteristics will define us; those choices are not thrust upon us. People can adopt a characteristic as the defining example of their existence and often those characteristics are physical. In 2020 our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson , has encouraged us to # HearHim —to seek the Lord’s guidance and direction for our individual lives. He’s not promiscuous; he has one relationship. There are people with physical disabilities that prevent them from having any hope — in some cases any actual hope and in other cases any practical hope — of marriage. ELDER OAKS: It seems to me that a Latter-day Saint parent has a responsibility in love and gentleness to affirm the teaching of the Lord through His prophets that the course of action he is about to embark upon is sinful. ELDER OAKS: Another way to say that same thing is that the Parliament in Canada and the Congress in Washington do not have the authority to revoke the commandments of God, or to modify or amend them in any way. It’s important to keep in mind the difference between Jesus’ love and His definition of doctrine, and the definition of doctrine that has come from apostles and prophets of the Lord Jesus Christ, both anciently and in modern times. ELDER OAKS: That’s a decision that needs to be made individually by the person responsible, calling upon the Lord for inspiration. ELDER OAKS: President Hinckley has helped us on that subject with a clear statement that answers all questions of that nature. Then it was on to the University of Chicago Law School. She will stand at the window of my office which overlooks the Salt Lake Temple and look at the brides and their new husbands as they’re having their pictures taken. Temptation is not unique. How would you address someone who said to you, ‘I understand it’s the same standard, but aren’t we asking a little more of someone who has same-gender attraction?’ Obviously there are heterosexual people who won’t get married, but would you accept that they at least have hope that ‘tomorrow I could meet the person of my dreams.’ There’s always the hope that that could happen at any point in their life. Brothers Keeper – Dallin H. Oaks Dec, 28th 2018 2:44 pm, Article Recommended by Dr. J. Smith One of the consequences of mortality is the necessity of earning our daily bread (see Gen. 3:19; Moses 4:25). Such advocates are quick to demand freedom of speech and thought for themselves, but equally quick to criticize those with a different view and, if possible, to silence them by applying labels like “homophobic.” In at least one country where homosexual activists have won major concessions, we have even seen a church pastor threatened with prison for preaching from the pulpit that homosexual behavior is sinful. Does it really mean that someone with same-gender attraction so long as they’re faithful, has every opportunity to participate, to be called to service, to do all those kinds of things that anyone else can? Let’s fast-forward the scenario that we used earlier, and assume it’s a couple of years later. Case studies I believe have shown that in some cases there has been progress made in helping someone to change that orientation; in other cases not. He believes he’s probably gay. You’ve described a particular kind of challenge that is very vexing. We feel great compassion for parents whose love and protective instincts for their challenged children have moved them to some positions that are adversary to the Church. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: At the outset, can you explain why this whole issue of homosexuality and same-gender marriage is important to the Church? PUBLIC AFFAIRS: Is heterosexual marriage ever an option for those with homosexual feelings? Personal Life. She’ll be 27 next week. We are in no condition to judge what discrimination is. Until quite recently, in a limited number of countries, there has been no such thing as a marriage between persons of the same gender. What would you say to them? ELDER OAKS: Let me just add a thought to that. Pictured here are President Russell M. Nelson and his wife, Wendy, and President Dallin H. Oaks and his wife, Kristen. You are now leaving a website maintained by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He and his partner intend to have that relationship for the rest of their lives. From the Church’s standpoint, from our standpoint of concern for people, that’s not where we place our principal focus. I’d look to Elder Oaks to elaborate on that. Personal life. She has taught in all the auxiliaries of the church. We expect celibacy of any person that is not married. If you would like to stay on the page you are viewing please click Cancel. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: Is therapy of any kind a legitimate course of action if we’re talking about controlling behavior? The worst possible thing for any of us — no matter what our temptations, no matter what our mortal inclinations may be — is to become fixated with them, to dwell on them. What should be the proper response of a Latter-day Saint parent in that situation? Posted by 2 years ago. While affirming our continued love for him, and affirming that the family continues to have its arms open to him, I think it would be well to review with him something like the following, which is a statement of the First Presidency in 1991: “The Lord’s law of moral conduct is abstinence outside of lawful marriage and fidelity within marriage. ELDER OAKS: Law has at least two roles: one is to define and regulate the limits of acceptable behavior. I think it may have a broader meaning in a doctrinal sense. Dallin H. Oaks earned a bachelor’s degree in accounting from Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. Dallin H. Oaks is a current member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Gratefully, the answer is that same-gender attraction did not exist in the pre-earth life and neither will it exist in the next life. They later lived for 16 years in Illinois, where Elder Oaks maintained a private law practice and served as associate dean and acting dean of the University of Chicago Law School. Further, men are that they might have joy. What do I tell him as a parent? His first job was to sweep at a radio repair shop. I guess it’s naturally human to think about my own problems as somehow greater than someone else’s. ELDER WICKMAN: One of the great sophistries of our age, I think, is that merely because one has an inclination to do something, that therefore acting in accordance with that inclination is inevitable. This is an issue that those in psychiatry, in the psychology professions have debated. Does it mean missionary service? The following interview was conducted in 2006 with Elder Dallin H. Oaks, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church, and Elder Lance B. Wickman, a member of the Seventy. Then in 1963, he served as the second counselor in the presidency of the Chicago Illinois South Stake. These leaders qualify for the vaccine in Utah because they are over the age of 70. My son has now stopped coming to church altogether. If that could be articulated on some basis other than discrimination, which is not a very good argument, it would be easier to answer the question that you have asked, and I think it would reveal the soundness of what we’ve already heard. In summary, the First Presidency has come out for an amendment (which may or may not be adopted) in support of the teaching function of the law. Such an amendment would be a very important expression of public policy, which would feed into or should feed into the decisions of judges across the length and breadth of the land. The time has come in our society when I see great wisdom and purpose in a United States Constitutional amendment declaring that marriage is between a man and a woman. I happen to have a handicapped daughter. Anyone who seeks to put that notion asunder is likewise running counter to what Jesus Himself said. With hats pulled low and draped in trench coats, … If marriage is evolving, ought we to resist those kind of social changes? Dallin Harris Oaks (born August 12, 1932) is an American attorney, jurist, author, professor, public speaker, and religious leader. ELDER OAKS: Another point to be made about this is made in a question. 450. We rest on our faith in God and our utmost assurance of His mercy and His love for all of His children. There are numbers of different types of partnerships or pairings that may exist in society that aren’t same-gender sexual relationships that provide for some right that we have no objection to. The only thing that I would add to what Elder Oaks has just said is that I think it’s important as a parent to avoid a potential trap arising out of one’s anguish over this situation. I refer to a shift from defending the Lord’s way to defending the errant child’s lifestyle, both with him and with others. These leaders qualify for the vaccine in Utah because they are over the age of 70. This Constitutional amendment is a defensive measure against those who would ignore the will of the states appropriately expressed and require, as a matter of federal law, the recognition of same-gender marriages — or the invalidation of state laws that require that marriage be between a man and a woman. ELDER WICKMAN: We live in a society which is so saturated with sexuality that it perhaps is more troublesome now, because of that fact, for a person to look beyond their gender orientation to other aspects of who they are. That’s contrary to our very nature as the Lord has revealed to us. To download all photos or videos related to this article, select the links at the bottom of each section. Baker is a daughter of Dallin H. Oaks, a former Brigham Young University president and Utah Supreme Court justice, who is now the second-ranking leader in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), and June Oaks (née Dixon). ELDER WICKMAN: One way to read the Book of Mormon is as a book of encounters between fathers and sons. The aversive therapies that have been used in connection with same-sex attraction have contained some serious abuses that have been recognized over time within the professions. If I can somehow make it through this life, when I appear on the other side, what will I be like?”. To support his widowed mother, President Oaks started his first job sweeping out a radio repair shop at age 11. Dallin H. Oaks was sustained and set apart as first counselor in the First Presidency and president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on Sunday, January 14, 2018. That is something to which our doctrine simply requires us to speak out and say, “That is not right. That course of action, which experience teaches, is almost certainly to lead both away from the Lord’s way. But if you choose to go that way, we will always try to help you and get you back on the path of growth. When they were told to refrain from plural marriage, there were probably some who were unhappy, but I think the majority were greatly relieved and glad to get back into the mainstream of western civilization, which had been marriage between a man and a woman. You will always be my son, and I’ll always be there to help you. It’s going to be decided as a matter of federal law one way or the other. The Pioneer Mother by Cyrus Dallin, Elder Oaks's namesake. Does it mean that someone can go to the temple, at least for those sacraments that don’t involve marriage? Occasionally, there’s an office, like the office of bishop, where a person must be married. If a young man says, “Look, I really want these feelings to go away… I would do anything for these feelings to go away,” is it legitimate to look at clinical therapy of some sort that would address those issues? I think I would say to your son or anyone that was so afflicted to strive to expand your horizons beyond simply gender orientation. Those who are vigorously advocating for something called same-gender marriage have essentially put that potato on the fork. The transcript of the interview appears below in order to help clarify the Church’s stand on these important, complex and sensitive issues. Courtesy Intellectual Properties The Atonement of Jesus Christ is powerful enough to reach out and cleanse you if you are repentant and give up your sinful behavior, but I urge you not to embark on that path because repentance is not easy. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: What of those who might say, “Okay. When that duty was lifted, they were directed to conform to the law of the land, which forbade polygamy and which had been held constitutional. Viewed that way, then any opportunity to serve in the Church is a blessing. Same ‘ rite? ’ please click Cancel contact with you s an office, like the office bishop. 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